Falsewood

faux bois square cement planterI’m no Francophile but when you’re discussing the potential sale of a pair of concrete planters textured to look something like bark it helps to casually throw out the term faux bois.

Not only does it give you a certain Madison Avenue panache, it rhymes with foie gras. Other fluent French phrases of mine include Je voudrais une chambre avec une salle de bain si’l vous plaît, and Allez Bobet!

Transvestite prostitutes often enjoy yelling this phrase at cyclists zipping by their working locations in the Bois de Boulogne park in Paris, in homage to the great French bicycle racer of the 1950s. (Just to be clear, I know this because I’ve been one of the cyclists zipping by.)

Fortunately, despite my acquaintance with the French language, I did not close the sale on this particular pair of fake wood cement planters. They join a decent number of other planters in my possession, none of the faux bois variety. I don’t consider it a collection but a nifty way to landscape a small property.

My latest aquisition is a large green one found on trash day while I was visiting the Jersey Shore. It’s made of some kind of fiberglass material. Probably came from Tar-zhay. It looks good with pink geraniums in front of a house painted dark brown.

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